As I sat and talked with my natural sistas last weekend, there was one theme that was central to conversations: the reaction people have to us being natural. And you know what the overwhelming majority experienced? That Black people (our people!) have the most negative things to say. Imagine that!
Do we hate the sight of our natural selves that much? Trust me, I remember all too well running to the salon the second my "kitchen" began to get kinky. I remember sitting at the rinse bowl with my legs twitching, standing under the A/C unit spraying oil sheen on the burning spots -- putting myself through sheer torture just so my hair could be bone straight. The answer to the burning question (pun intended) was always, "NO! It can sit a while longer!" And for what? To live in fear of rainy days? To avoid the gym so as to not "sweat out my perm"? To do it again in 6 weeks like clockwork?
Naturals have chosen not to put ourselves through that anymore. It's our choice and it can easily be reversed if we change our minds again. So why the negativity? We naturals are not out to convert you. It is not our intent to recruit straight-haired sistas for our plot to take over the world, one fro at a time. (smile)
When I did my B.C. I was very nervous about going to work the next day. Although I loved my new 'do, I wasn't sure how my coworkers would react. Turns out, they loved it, too! I was pleasantly surprised by their reaction, but what surprised me more was the reaction of my sistas. In general it seems that Black women are the least likely to comment about our natural hair. Or when they do comment, they criticize rather than encourage. Don't shoot the messenger -- this is what I hear from other naturals. My own experience has been that they really don't say anything at all. As if they don't even notice that I look different. And I know they notice!
So I'm wondering, why do we (as Black people) reinforce the stereotypical images of beauty within our community? Why do we frown upon those who choose kinky/curly over straight? It seems we'd rather spend our time reinforcing myths: that we won't progress in the corporate world; that it won't look right on us (for whatever reason); that we won't find a man who will love us sans perm.
The beauty of our race is that we can be so versatile. Let's embrace all aspects of our blackness (is that a word?!) because one is not better or worse...it's just a form of self-expression. Thank God we live in a country that values freedom of speech! On that note, if you leave a comment about this post, please do so without bashing one side or the other. Nothing but love here!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
A Network of Naturals
This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending two events that were dedicated to natural hair. I had a fantastic time and just wanted to share a few thoughts.
The Saturday afternoon event was hosted by my line sister Stephanie and her friend Amber. They decided to open up their home to friends who are natural. We spent a couple of hours swapping stories about why we decided to go natural, when we did the B.C. (if we did it) and some of the comments we've received because of our new look. Then we shared our daily hair regimin: products, styles, etc. And there ended up being a wonderful product swap because people brought products that didn't work for them and someone else got to take it home and give it a shot. I sampled about 7 different products on different sections of my head so my hair was probably looking pretty strange by the time it was all over!
There was only one young lady in attendance who is still holding on to the perm! She wants to go natural and has been transitioning for nearly 3 months but is still somewhat afraid to let go completely. I can totally understand that, and so could a lot of others so we were there to offer her support and guidance so that she can make the decision that's right for her. I walked away from that event with a handful of new friends...and a bottle of Uncle Funky's Curly Magic that I can't wait to try!
Later that night I attended the Nappy Love Houston Nappyversary event. Nappy Love Houston is a meetup group that I discovered back in October. Saturday's event was to celebrate the one-year anniversary of its inception. It was my first meetup since joining but through other happening I've had the opportunity to meet other members so I felt like I had "friends" there. Plus, my sister joined me! There were many vendors there showcasing their products -- everything from handmade jewelry to homemade natural soaps and mobile loc services! It was a great night of good conversation, prizes, food and fun.
I'm grateful for all of the resources, both businesses and individuals, that I've found since becoming natural! I plan to share them with you as we go along so stay tuned!
The Saturday afternoon event was hosted by my line sister Stephanie and her friend Amber. They decided to open up their home to friends who are natural. We spent a couple of hours swapping stories about why we decided to go natural, when we did the B.C. (if we did it) and some of the comments we've received because of our new look. Then we shared our daily hair regimin: products, styles, etc. And there ended up being a wonderful product swap because people brought products that didn't work for them and someone else got to take it home and give it a shot. I sampled about 7 different products on different sections of my head so my hair was probably looking pretty strange by the time it was all over!
There was only one young lady in attendance who is still holding on to the perm! She wants to go natural and has been transitioning for nearly 3 months but is still somewhat afraid to let go completely. I can totally understand that, and so could a lot of others so we were there to offer her support and guidance so that she can make the decision that's right for her. I walked away from that event with a handful of new friends...and a bottle of Uncle Funky's Curly Magic that I can't wait to try!
Later that night I attended the Nappy Love Houston Nappyversary event. Nappy Love Houston is a meetup group that I discovered back in October. Saturday's event was to celebrate the one-year anniversary of its inception. It was my first meetup since joining but through other happening I've had the opportunity to meet other members so I felt like I had "friends" there. Plus, my sister joined me! There were many vendors there showcasing their products -- everything from handmade jewelry to homemade natural soaps and mobile loc services! It was a great night of good conversation, prizes, food and fun.
I'm grateful for all of the resources, both businesses and individuals, that I've found since becoming natural! I plan to share them with you as we go along so stay tuned!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The Big Chop
Ok, where was I? Oh yeah so I held on to my freestyle braids for as long as I could but finally, in late October it was time to let them go. Right before I had my hair braided, I put it in a ponytail, took a pair of scissors, and cut off about 3-4 inches of hair. I was afraid to take the braids out because I wasn't sure what my wack-job of a haircut would look like.
Once all of the braids were out I called my stylist. I considered going to a natural hair salon but didn't want to be charged an arm and a leg for a haircut. I also thought about going to a local haircutting place that could probably get me in and out quickly, but was afraid there wouldn't be a black stylist. A few years back I went to a beauty school to get my hair flatironed and...let's just say it wasn't a pleasant experience for me or the trembling girl who combed my hair as if it would break.
So anyway, I bravely told my stylist that I was ready for the BC, A.K.A. the Big Chop. The BC is when you cut off all of the relaxed hair so that all you have left is natural hair. Depending on how long you've been growing it out, your natural 'do can be a TWA (teeny-weeny afro) or longer. I was afraid of the TWA. Which is why I began shaking when I hung up the phone. Was I really ready for the BC? Could I rock a TWA? I went straight to YouTube to gather strength from the natural girls I'd been following, thanks to a tip from a member of Nappy Love Houston (more on this wonderful group later). I was resolved - the BC was for me. Now if only I could remain convinced of it for the next few hours. My stylist was going to see where she could work me in becuase it was late notice and a Saturday so I had to sit at home and wait on that call. It finally came around 8:30 that night and she wasn't going to be able to fit me in until Monday.
I'd wasted an entire day and was no closer to anything. I began to lose my nerve. Going natural seemed to not be in the cards. I made a call to my sister to see if she could at least get me looking presentable for church the next day. She threw me some twists up top and a roller set in the back, a perfect transition style. By Monday morning I was still bouncing back and forth on the chop. But once I sat in that chair and saw that I would have a decent amount of hair left, not as teeny of an afro as I expected, I was ok with letting it go. And as I heard those scissors snipping, I wasn't afraid, nor did I cry. I was always so attached to my hair and was known to cry from only getting it trimmed. Taking this step was like growing up, even though I'm married and have kids. It was like I was finally a big girl. (smile) The day was Monday, November 2, 2009.
My sister stopped by on her way from the gym and gave me an approving hug and smile. Her BC was in September 2009 and knowing that we were going through the journey together helped me a lot. After my failed attempt in 2008, I talked about being natural so much that she decided she wanted to do it, too. Once she chopped her hair, I knew there was no turning back. I would have to follow-through because I had someone to whom I was accountable.
I know that was a long story but that's pretty much how I got to where I am today. It's been two months and I haven't once regretted going natural. I was very afraid of how my coworkers and friends would react and it has been interesting but positive. I'll share my insights on that later...I have lots of topics I want to discuss but that's enough for now!
Once all of the braids were out I called my stylist. I considered going to a natural hair salon but didn't want to be charged an arm and a leg for a haircut. I also thought about going to a local haircutting place that could probably get me in and out quickly, but was afraid there wouldn't be a black stylist. A few years back I went to a beauty school to get my hair flatironed and...let's just say it wasn't a pleasant experience for me or the trembling girl who combed my hair as if it would break.
So anyway, I bravely told my stylist that I was ready for the BC, A.K.A. the Big Chop. The BC is when you cut off all of the relaxed hair so that all you have left is natural hair. Depending on how long you've been growing it out, your natural 'do can be a TWA (teeny-weeny afro) or longer. I was afraid of the TWA. Which is why I began shaking when I hung up the phone. Was I really ready for the BC? Could I rock a TWA? I went straight to YouTube to gather strength from the natural girls I'd been following, thanks to a tip from a member of Nappy Love Houston (more on this wonderful group later). I was resolved - the BC was for me. Now if only I could remain convinced of it for the next few hours. My stylist was going to see where she could work me in becuase it was late notice and a Saturday so I had to sit at home and wait on that call. It finally came around 8:30 that night and she wasn't going to be able to fit me in until Monday.
I'd wasted an entire day and was no closer to anything. I began to lose my nerve. Going natural seemed to not be in the cards. I made a call to my sister to see if she could at least get me looking presentable for church the next day. She threw me some twists up top and a roller set in the back, a perfect transition style. By Monday morning I was still bouncing back and forth on the chop. But once I sat in that chair and saw that I would have a decent amount of hair left, not as teeny of an afro as I expected, I was ok with letting it go. And as I heard those scissors snipping, I wasn't afraid, nor did I cry. I was always so attached to my hair and was known to cry from only getting it trimmed. Taking this step was like growing up, even though I'm married and have kids. It was like I was finally a big girl. (smile) The day was Monday, November 2, 2009.
My sister stopped by on her way from the gym and gave me an approving hug and smile. Her BC was in September 2009 and knowing that we were going through the journey together helped me a lot. After my failed attempt in 2008, I talked about being natural so much that she decided she wanted to do it, too. Once she chopped her hair, I knew there was no turning back. I would have to follow-through because I had someone to whom I was accountable.
I know that was a long story but that's pretty much how I got to where I am today. It's been two months and I haven't once regretted going natural. I was very afraid of how my coworkers and friends would react and it has been interesting but positive. I'll share my insights on that later...I have lots of topics I want to discuss but that's enough for now!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
