Our own worst enemy

As I sat and talked with my natural sistas last weekend, there was one theme that was central to conversations: the reaction people have to us being natural. And you know what the overwhelming majority experienced? That Black people (our people!) have the most negative things to say. Imagine that!

Do we hate the sight of our natural selves that much? Trust me, I remember all too well running to the salon the second my "kitchen" began to get kinky. I remember sitting at the rinse bowl with my legs twitching, standing under the A/C unit spraying oil sheen on the burning spots -- putting myself through sheer torture just so my hair could be bone straight. The answer to the burning question (pun intended) was always, "NO! It can sit a while longer!" And for what? To live in fear of rainy days? To avoid the gym so as to not "sweat out my perm"? To do it again in 6 weeks like clockwork?

Naturals have chosen not to put ourselves through that anymore. It's our choice and it can easily be reversed if we change our minds again. So why the negativity? We naturals are not out to convert you. It is not our intent to recruit straight-haired sistas for our plot to take over the world, one fro at a time. (smile)

When I did my B.C. I was very nervous about going to work the next day. Although I loved my new 'do, I wasn't sure how my coworkers would react. Turns out, they loved it, too! I was pleasantly surprised by their reaction, but what surprised me more was the reaction of my sistas. In general it seems that Black women are the least likely to comment about our natural hair. Or when they do comment, they criticize rather than encourage. Don't shoot the messenger -- this is what I hear from other naturals. My own experience has been that they really don't say anything at all. As if they don't even notice that I look different. And I know they notice!

So I'm wondering, why do we (as Black people) reinforce the stereotypical images of beauty within our community? Why do we frown upon those who choose kinky/curly over straight? It seems we'd rather spend our time reinforcing myths: that we won't progress in the corporate world; that it won't look right on us (for whatever reason); that we won't find a man who will love us sans perm.

The beauty of our race is that we can be so versatile. Let's embrace all aspects of our blackness (is that a word?!) because one is not better or worse...it's just a form of self-expression. Thank God we live in a country that values freedom of speech! On that note, if you leave a comment about this post, please do so without bashing one side or the other. Nothing but love here!